Ah, my poor little blog. You are so neglected! I had promised myself that I would post during my wonderful 3 month escapade in Paris. Yet here we are ~ I've been back over a month and this adventure is already behind me. Well, behind me but always with me. That's why travel and experiences are so special. Even when they are over, they stay with you forever.
It had been almost 2 years since I had last spent any significant time in Paris. No one was expecting a worldwide pandemic. Every time we thought it was almost over, along came another wave and another lockdown. People were tired. Sad. Anxious. Frustrated. Just done with it all. So when I was able to get my vaccinations and France started letting in vaccinated visitors this summer, I knew in my heart that it was time to go back.
My timing could not have been more perfect. I arrived on September 1 and it was like I had never left. On my first evening there, I had a reunion with some very special friends and met a few new people who would become good friends. The next three months were just more of that first wonderful night ~ catching up with friends I hadn't seen in almost 2 years and meeting some really wonderful people that I know will always be part of my life in some way. Life felt like it was normal again ~ I flew to Malta twice to bask in the company of someone I consider to be my brother from another mother. Malta is fast becoming my second home away from home in Europe ~ I have enough friends there that I could easily consider spending more and more time here. Plus Michael can make me laugh like no one else, even when he takes my phone over and posts embarrassing(ly funny) stuff. I also was able to visit Avignon and Amsterdam, spend a lovely day in Deauville with my lovely Kiwi bestie, visit many amazing museum exhibitions with my Aussie bestie, share drinks and meals with so many wonderful people.
I am so blessed. I have so many people in my life who truly love and support me. I'm always grateful and humbled by that love and support. Life is sometimes a challenge, it's sometimes perfect, but it's always about change and handling that change. The people in my life help me navigate that change and adapt to it. I hope I do the same for them. What is life without the people who help you get through it?
Anyone who's my friend on Facebook knows everything I did, ate and drank and everyone I spent time with. The photos and posts are many (maybe too many lol). Paris and the people there once again fed my soul and gave me respite from the madness we are all going through right now. So this post is about that time but as always, it's also a little insight into my head. What I'm thinking and how I'm feeling.
As I sit here on a very cold Saturday evening in Canada, I'm thinking about those 3 months and what they meant to me. I'm thinking about how very lucky I am to have been able to even enjoy that time. How lucky I am to have a job that allows me this freedom, both financially and in terms of flexibility. How perfect my timing was, in that I was able to do pretty much everything I wanted to while I was there. 2 days after I came home, both Canada and France changed their entry requirements. Omicron has since been raging and we are in lockdown once again.
You may be wondering what the title of this post means? It refers to how I felt several times during my time in Paris. More than once, I just felt how wonderfully amazing it was to be able to enjoy this time all by myself, to savour my oneness, to revel in being able to do exactly what I wanted when I wanted. This is a theme I've touched on several times in my blog. The idea that society tells us we can only truly be happy when we have found "the one". I want to make something clear here ~ I'm certainly not denying that people who are in good relationships are not enjoying their lives to the fullest. I know many couples who have found their person, either early on or later in life. I see the joy that sharing life with their partner brings them.
But I would like people to know that that joy is also possible when you're not in a relationship. I chose my words carefully here. I purposefully didn't say "when you are alone". Although I am single, I am not alone. I have so many people in my life who help make it meaningful. My daughter and my son. My two grandsons who I love more than should be possible. My siblings and my mom. My friends around the world, who are always there to listen, to share my joys and my sorrows, my ups and my downs.
I also have myself. I have learned in the last 8 years how to love myself. I've learned how to not feel guilty about putting myself first. That was a struggle. It's hard to change lifetime habits of always wanting to make everything right for everyone in your life. I've learned that's not in my power. I've also learned that life is very short. That I matter too.
Learning to love yourself is the first step to being able to love others. Being able to live a meaningful live. Being kind to yourself means you can be kind to others.
Ah kindness ~ if there's anything that defines who and what I hope I am, it's the word kind. If only we were all a little kinder to each other, how wonderful this world would be. Regardless of religion, race, gender, sexual orientation, politics, and every other label we use to define and divide us ~ if we could just be kind to everyone, be as kind to others as we wish they were kind to us ~ this world would just be a little easier to bear.
Life is hard. Everyone has some hardship they've had to overcome. Kindness can help ease that burden. The best part is that it doesn't cost anything!
So why did I decide to spend part of my Saturday evening writing all these thoughts down? Well, I'm been trying to do so for some time ~ when I was in Paris and since I've come back. Today just felt like I should finally take the time to put it all down. I had a wonderful day with my daughter and her partner. Our relationship is better than it's been in a very long time and that makes me very happy. My grandsons are also happy and content and taking the recent changes that have happened in their lives in stride. My son is still struggling with Abby's passing but I am realizing that he has to forge his own path through his grief. I can only let him know I'm here for him in any way he needs me to be, but I can't go through it for him.
I guess it comes down to being comfortable with who you are and where you are. Realizing that life is short so you should make the best of it while you can. But also realizing that there's so much more ahead for all of us. Be excited about the future and what's in store. Be grateful for what you have and this time you are given. Love yourself. Be kind to others.
My apologies to those who thought this would be about Paris. It was in a way, as Paris is the place that is part of my soul, that heals me and sustains me when I think I can't go on. But it was really about saying that life is what you make it. Whatever that is. Whether you are part of a couple or on your own. Life is change, life is how you handle whatever change comes your way and life is being happy with who you are and what you have. Life is knowing how to Let It Be.
