My son

 People are always telling me I have to tell my story.  And I will, when the time is right.  But everyone has a story.  Everyone has a past, everyone has something they have overcome, everyone has dreams.

My son has a story. It is a story of such courage, and perseverance, and love that it brings me to my knees whenever I think of it.

Anyone who had read my blog knows that Derek's beautiful daughter, Abby, passed away from cancer on September 23, 2018 at the very tender age of 3.  She fought for almost two years.  She was already stage 4, high risk when she was diagnosed at 17 months with neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer.  Her doctors prescribed a very aggressive course of treatment which included chemotherapy, surgery, a stem cell transplant from her own cells, and immunotherapy.  This little girl fought for 22 months.  She withstood treatment that would bring grown men to their knees.  She did it while laughing, while watching Barney on her iPad and while constantly holding on to her WhoWho though every poke and prod, every horrible procedure that no little body should ever have to withstand.  

Derek was with her every step of the way.  He slept by her bedside for almost 2 years, held her through her pain and tears and cries. He gave up his life so he could be her comfort and her strength.  He put up with so much indignity and injustice over that time so he could just be there for his little girl.  I can't go into detail because so much of it is privileged information and involves other people and also because my son is fiercely private.  But Derek had to withstand so much more on top of his daughter fighting cancer. So much more that people would be flabbergasted by what happened to him.  

And he never complained.  He never felt sorry for himself.  His only worry was always Abby. Being by her side.  Kissing her tears and making her laugh and be happy.  That is who this man is.  His pain and anguish just weren't important compared to Abby.  She was just everything for him.  She still is.  

Derek turned 34 today. I just needed to write these thoughts down, get them out of my head.  Abby has been gone for almost 2 and a half years.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.  But I know my pain is nothing compared to Derek's.  I know she is always on his mind, in his heart and part of his soul.  

My son is my hero.  He embodies true love, selflessness, kindness, compassion and empathy.  I hold him in my heart and I hope the future brings him some peace, some happiness and some love.  He deserves all of that and more.  I love you so much, Derek.  I'm so damn proud of the human being that you are. For so many reasons.